Thursday, May 13, 2010

Breaking the Silence

Thank you all for your kind and caring emails over the past couple of weeks.  I apologize for my silence, and I hope you will understand by the end of this post.

My Mom has recovered remarkably well, and we all celebrated her 93rd birthday on Tuesday, complete with a huge birthday cake, balloons, and flowers.  She feels very well, and is enjoying physical therapy twice a week with her favorite male therapist....she's always been a sucker for the men!  LOL

After she was settled back in her digs, C and I spent a few days with family and friends in the mountains of North Carolina, watching the migrating warblers and the wonderful spring wildflowers, like the Showy Orchis pictured below.  This flower is relatively uncommon in these parts, so I find it especially endearing, and with all of the rain that we have enjoyed over the past year, it seems more prolific than ever.

My week studying in San Antonio with Jane Dunnewold, was such an eye-opening experience.  Not only did I learn a ton about textiles, tools, and dyeing, but also a lot about myself and the crummy habits that I've fallen into over the past few years.  For one thing, I spend entirely too much time on the internet!  While I cherish the friendships I have formed with fellow bloggers and you who read my blog, I now realize that I am very easily swayed by the wonderful art works of others that I see and read about.  For instance, I can be deep into planning a piece and then when I read so-and-so's blog and see the lovely piece that he/she has created, I think to myself, "Well, I should try that", rather than sticking to my original plan.  So, for a while at least, I'm going to try not to read so many blogs simply in an attempt to truly find my own voice. Sometimes it's a lonely feeling, but I can already see that it is beginning to pay off!  Thank you for understanding's not that I don't care, really it's not.....and really I do care a lot about you!

I would like to share a poem from Mary Oliver's "Why I Wake Early" collection. As I read it this morning, it brought back wonderful memories of our time in the mountains last week.

"Trout Lilies

It happened I couldn't find in all my books
more than a picture and a few words concerning
the trout lily,

so I shut my eyes.
And let the darkness come in
and roll me back.
The old creek

began to sing in my ears
as it rolled along, like the hair of spring,
and the young girl I used to be
heard it also,

as she came swinging into the woods,
truant from everything as usual
except the clear globe of the day, and its 
beautiful details.

Then she stopped,
where the first trout lilies of the year
   had sprung from the ground
with their spotted bodies
and their six-antlered bright faces,
and their many red tongues.

If she spoke to them, I don't remember what she said,
and if they kindly answered, it's a gift that can't be broken
   by giving it away.
All I know is, there was a light that lingered, for hours,
under her eyelids - that made a difference
when she went back to a difficult house, at the end of the day."

As always, thanks for stopping by (not just today, but always).  If you are frustrated by my sporadic posting, you might try subscribing to my blog (on the right side of the page) and then you will be notified by email when I do post.  If you don't care to do so, I surely understand.



Eva said...

Oh, Judy, sporadic posting is not a reason to give up reading! Rather on the contrary. If you do as you suggested, it will be just the same pleasure or more to read your postings! It will be more fun for you, if you don't feel pushed to do your "obligatory diary". And fun it should be.

Joyce said...

I have you on my Bloglines so I'll see when you do post. I understand how one can get sidetracked by stuff from other blogs. It happens to me all the time. Also from books. I have tried to put a hold on book buying but with only moderate success. I did make an exception for Jane Dunnewold's book. I'd LOVE to take a class from her...

Connie Rose said...

I loved what you said about having a project in mind then deciding to switch gears because of what others are doing. That's happened a lot for me. And it IS lonely, moving in your own direction, you keep thinking if it's the right thing to do, if your choices are valid, etc, etc. Just keep on moving forward and have faith in your own vision. Have the courage to listen to your own voice! XO

Karen said...

You have given us all food for thought. I think we get stuck on something, and look to others for inspiration, when it really it should come from ourselves. I'm glad you're moving forward.

Gerrie said...

Hee! I am going to keep calling you and checking up on you. I was about ready to call today, but then you posted. So glad to hear that your mom is on the mend. Hippo Birdy two her!!

Just remember, that we will be out here waiting for the big unveiling of whatever you are doing.

BTW - I think you have a pretty good sense of yourself and what you do well - just ramp it up.


Jeannie said...

Happy Birthday to your Mom!!! As Gerrie said, we will be here when you want to chat. I think you are so talented and creative, even with your bad habits - LOL! Hugs

linda stokes said...

Glad your Mum is OK now Judy.
How wonderful to do a workshop at Jane D's studio & useful that it's inspired you to think about your direction. It is very easy to be distracted by new techniques, books, groups, etc. I often think I should resign from all my groups and concentrate on what I really want to be doing on my own but it is also nice to stay in contact with like minded people!

Elizabeth said...

Next time you see your Mum give her a big hug from me!!! So glad to hear that all is well with her!
you are being so mature and doing what is best for you and your art right now- that is what is important! I alwyas look forward to hearing what you are up to and how it is going but, I too am spending too much time on the net and feeling very distracted and unsure of my own abilities and my voice. If you can be mature and do what you have maybe I can catch it from you!!!!
Love Ya Chica!!! ART ON!!!

Jane LaFazio said...

Judy. glad your week with Jane D was good for you and for your soul. xox

imquilternity said... glad to hear your mom is recovering nicely. I have taken the same path recently as I found that my "blog reading" had gotten completely out of hand and I wasn't able to focus on anything because of all the lovely distractions. It's difficult (and sometimes lonely) to back off, but like you, I have found it to be beneficial. Good luck and we'll always be here when you're ready to post!

Carol said...

Miss you, but absolutely understand. Look forward to any further posts from you but take your time my dear. XXOO