Sunday, September 10, 2006

About W

My wonderful niece Alice sent me the following (which she cut and pasted from Salon), and on the eve of the fifth anniversary of September 11th, I wanted to share it with you:

Mocking Bush is my patriotic duty
A comedian explains how cruel jokes about the
president can stop terrorism.
By Bill Maher

Sep. 08, 2006 New rule: Bad presidents happen to
good people. Amid all the 9/11 anniversary talk about
what will keep us safe, let me suggest that in a world
turned hostile to America, the smartest message we can
send to those beyond our shores is, "We're not with
stupid." Therefore, I contend -- with all seriousness
-- that ridiculing this president is now the most
patriotic thing you can do. Let our allies and our
enemies alike know that there's a whole swath of
Americans desperate to distance themselves from Bush's
foreign policies. And that's just Republicans running
for reelection.
Now, of course, you're gonna say, "But Bill,
ridiculing Bush is like shooting fish in a barrel,"
or, as Dick Cheney calls it, "hunting." Maybe, but
right now it's important, because America is an easily misunderstood country these days -- a lot of the time it's hard to make out what we're saying over the bombs we're dropping.
But we are not all people who think putting a boot in
your ass is the way to solve problems, because even
allowing that my foot lodged in your ass would feel
good, which I don't -- what then? OK, my boot is in
your ass, but I can't get it out, so I'm not happy,
and it's in you, so you're not happy -- there's no
exit strategy.
Anyone who opposes the indefinite occupation of Iraq
shouldn't be labeled an al-Qaida supporter. That's
like saying that if I tell my exterminator that there
are more efficient ways to rid the house of vermin
than hitting them with a hammer, I'm "for the rats."
Questioning whether it still makes sense to keep
troops under fire is supporting the troops. Asking for
a plan supports the troops; asking when they'll be
leaving supports the troops. Sitting around parsing
the definition of "civil war" doesn't support the
troops, it supports the president, and he's not a
soldier, he just plays one on TV.
So yes, for the sake of homeland security, I ridicule
the president -- but it gives me no pleasure to paint
him as a dolt, a rube, a yokel on the world stage, a
submental, three bricks shy of a load, a Gilligan
unable to find his own ass with two hands. Or, as Sean
Hannity calls it, "Reaganesque."
No, it pains me to say these things, because I know
deep down George Bush has something extra -- a
chromosome. Cruel? Perhaps, but it may just have saved
lives. By doing the extra chromosome joke, I sent a
message to a young Muslim man somewhere in the world
who's on a slow burn about this country, and perhaps
got him to think, "Maybe the people of America aren't
so bad. Maybe it's just the rodeo clown who leads
them. Maybe the people 'get it.'" We do, Achmed, we
And that's why making fun of the president keeps this
country safe. The proof? I've been doing it nonstop
for years, and there hasn't been another attack. Maybe
the reason they haven't attacked us again is they
figured we're already suffering enough.
If I could explain one thing about George W. Bush to
the rest of the world it's this: We don't know what
the hell he's saying either! Trust me, foreigners,
there's nothing lost in translation, it's just as
incoherent in the original English. Yes, we voted for
him -- twice -- but that's because we're stupid, not
because we're bad. Bush is just one of those things
that are really popular for a few years and then
almost overnight become completely embarrassing. You
know, like leg warmers, or Hootie and the Blowfish, or
white people going, "Oh no you di-int."
So while honoring the anniversary of September 2001,
we must also never forget September 2000. That's the
month when Gov. George W. Bush said, "I know that
human beings and fish can coexist peacefully." If you
don't believe me, you can look it up on both
internets. The world changed on 9/11. He didn't.
That's why we owe it to ourselves, and our children,
to never stop pointing out that George W. Bush is a
gruesome boob.

1 comment:

Karoda said...

oh, this made me feel so much better this morning...its just something special about starting the morning with a good belly laugh and a good cup of coffee!